Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Today's the day. Today's the day I will share with the world- exposing a great deal about myself and my brokenness. Yesterday I watched a segment during ESPN's college game day during which Auburn's Sammi Coates was featured as an amazing mentor and friend to a young girl named Kenzie, who happens to be battling cancer. As I watched, tears streaming down my face, I thought: how dare I? How dare I ever complain or feel pain when there is a little girl out there who has battled for years, fighting a terrible disease that must impact her life in a thousand different challenging ways. And what about her mother? Daily facing a very real fear that her beautiful child might be taken from her? Both of these women, as well as the football player who has befriended them, and the millions of people out there met with heartbreaking circumstances, are inarguably heroic, and strong. Their stories however, make me so hesitant to share mine. Their tales seem to make what I am facing pale in comparison. But... If you've read my story hopefully you understand, that this is exactly the reason I feel compelled to share. To be brave enough to be vocal about what I faced and continue to face, with one conclusion: this life is so hard. But amidst the challenge I can see the blessing, and choose to put my trust in a God that has shown he will heal me.
Today is a day when I physically feel, quite honestly, miserable. I have tried so hard to be the person I used to be... Attempting to jog and feeling just awful. Unsuccessfully fighting stomach pain that prevents me from ever really stretching out-leaving me to feel that I am perpetually hunched over, trying to protect myself from further sickness or pain. Trying so hard to finally wean off of pain medicine which makes me feel desperate, discouraged, and once again, unable to take care of my baby girl the way I want to. My body is healing, but so incrementally that I feel it is failing me.
So this is the reality in which I daily live. How about you? Are you in a season of blessing... And hurting? Do you believe, like me, that the two can coexist?
I do not have the perfect answer. But amidst my pain I continue to pray that God will complete his work- making me into a new creation. Made stronger and deeper and more compassionate by the trials He gives me.